Over a five year period the value of building materials may rise 10, 15 or even 20% or more and that even though we may dispute this increase, we will pay it and blame inflation.

Having visited the doctor and then get faced with a bill of 10 euro more than last time, we would be quite hesitant about the increase, thinking to ourselves, “Why the increase? All she did was give me a prescription for a head cold”. Of course the doctor did a lot more than that but we feel the service didnt justify the money after there was an increase.

What you need to do as a negotiator is to agree your pricing terms up front. This way there will be no more surprises later on.

If you have ever sold your house you will know that Estate agents work on a commission, typically 3 - 9% of the sale value of your house.

It isnt until after the sale has been completed that the Estate agent looks for their fee, only to be told “9000 euro for what? All you did was put it on myhome.ie”

But of course they did a lot more than that. They would have organised contracts, terms and pricing with the buyer. As a seller all we see is who comes to look at the house, not at what work was involved to get them in the door!

By physically flinching, the other party will see your surprise and dismay at their proposal.

When someone makes a proposal to you that is completely outrageous, and they know it, they have made this proposal to watch how you object to it.

It is very important at this stage that you react to their proposal. If you do not flinch, they will believe they can possibly get away with what they have proposed. As you didn’t react to their proposal they may be thinking you will take what they say as truth.

So, remember whenever a proposal is made to you make sure to visually AND verbally react to it.

How?

Well you can open your eyes wide as in surprise, put your hands up near your face and say

“Oh my gosh, fifteen thousand euro/three days/two hours (or whatever). I couldn’t possibly do that.”

Now, the secret here is to NOT SAY A WORD. Leave the onus on the other party to reply to your outburst. Typically what happens is people will flinch, give their outburst and then continue with their tirade. They may say something like “Oh my gosh, I couldn’t pay that. You are too expensive, and I am not going to deal with someone who won’t even start to be flexible on price.”

So as you can see above, the ranter has talked himself out of the room, and all the other party was doing was guaging his reaction to their initial proposal.

Remember to flinch to a proposal and then say nothing. Put them on the back foot.

The first technique I always insist my clients learn is Higher Reference.

Whether you are the CEO, the owner, the 100% shareholder of your company, admitting this straight away will leave you with a weaker hand later in the negotiation stages.

How is this so?

Let’s imagine for a moment you are the owner of a successful Furniture company and you are looking to buy furniture material from a materials company. You noticed a gap in the market and you want to offer Sofa repairs to your customers.

You tell a materials company you want the best possible deal and are willing to pay in cash if the figures are right.

The Materials Company quote you 1000 euro worth of the material you are looking for. You gasp and say “No way, I won’t pay that. 800 euro is all I can afford.”

The Materials Company respond with

“But surely, being the owner of your own business you know the value of good quality. But if you can only go to 800 euro I can show you our lower quality materials”.

You respond with “No way. I want that material for 800 euro”.

The Materials Company are now in a position to find out just how flexible you are.

“I can’t possibly do that for you for 800 euro. Tell you what, if you are seriously interested in purchasing this material then I may be able to get you a discount but I would have to check it with my boss. If I can get it for you are you interested?”

You respond energetically with

“Well of course I am interested. What sort of discount are you talking about?”…

And so the Materials Company knows they can budge you from your 800 euro budget by you agreeing to see what is in offer with the discount.

So how do we over come this negotiating tactic like the one employed by the Materials Company?

Always use Higher Reference. Tell them whatever you like, but don’t let them know you are the key decision maker.

What I often tell my clients to do is agree up front with what has ever been proposed to them. Then tell them you will have to take their proposal to your committee members/line manager or whoever you have planned as your Higher Reference.

But if you are the decision maker, don’t let your ego get in the way! Use a Higher Reference.

So let’s imagine you use this Higher Reference in the above situation. You have agreed but have insisted you must mention the deal to your chosen Higher Reference. The ace up your sleeve here though is that you can say to the deal proposor, “It’s a shame we can’t get this deal sorted today. Had you come in a couple of hundred euro lower then I was given the authority to go ahead and secure the business today. Let’s see if we can do this today can we? After all, we have spent so much time on this it would be a shame for it all to fall apart right now over a couple of hundred euro”.

In today’s competitive world, it pays to be smart. No matter how smart you
are, I am sure there is something you could “get smarter” about. Below are
some qualities of smart people. As you read the list, ask yourself: Am I as
smart as I could be in this area? How could I get smarter?

1. Make Decisions Intuitively

Smart people listen to and follow their intuition. They know how intuitions
and insights come to them and are tuned-in internally to make wise
decisions.

2. Are Self-Aware

Smart people are aware of who they are— strengths, weaknesses,
personality, values, etc. As Confucious once said, “He who knows others is
wise, he who knows himself is enlightened,” they know that the most
important (and interesting) thing to know about is “self.”

3. Use Active Reflection

Smart people reflect on and learn from past experiences, finding out what
works and what doesn’t, and then adjusts their course of action as needed.
They think about things before jumping in, and also take the time
after-the-fact to actively reflect to fully understand what happened or
didn’t happen.

4. Think Out-of-Box

Smart people can easily entertain new ideas, thoughts, and ways of doing
things. They crave progressive and forward thinking information, concepts,
and people. They often come up with new and radical ideas on a regular
basis.

5. Have An Open-Mind

Smart people are open to different perspectives and see potential where most
people don’t. They would agree with what the quote, “A mind is like a
parachute, it only functions when it is open.” They are comfortable with
paradoxes and can relate to many sides of an issue or opinion.

6. Are Responsive

Smart people recognize and respond quickly to opportunities and people. They
act and react fast, and take care of what needs to be taken care-of, well
ahead of schedule.

7. Are Resourceful

Smart people don’t have to know it all, but they do know where to go to get
whatever information, resources, training, education that they need. They
are well-networked and have people to call on for resource referrals.

8. Question Authority

Smart people think for themselves. They do not blindly believe things
so-called “experts” say, in fact, they ask deep questions to discover their
own truth.

9. Upgrade Their Brain

Smart people stay smart because they are committed to being a lifelong
learner. They continuously learn new things, and stay current with their
skills, attitudes, and beliefs.

10. Have a Sense of Humor

Smart people do not take themselves or life too seriously. They recognize
the importance of finding the fun in the irony and the comedy of everyday
life.

11. Take Risks

Smart people are willing to try out new things, knowing that if it doesn’t
work out as intended, failure is often cleverly disguised as a learning
opportunity. They “swing out there” often, and it usually pays off.

12. Trust Themselves

Smart people believe and trust themselves first and foremost. They don’t
have to check with others to make decisions, they instinctively know what is
right for them and they go for it!

13. Write and List Things on Paper

Smart people have a well-developed life strategy that includes a written
life vision/mission, purpose, and goals statement. They also write
lists—one for “have to’s” and one for “want to’s.”

14. Are Productive

Smart people get things done, through whatever organizational/time
management system that works for them. They make the most of each day and
take action on important life tasks each and everyday.

15. Use Discernment

Smart people are able to discern (see clearly) other’s reasons and motives,
so they selectively choose who and what to align themselves with. They
surround themselves with only the highest quality people, programs, and
places.

16. Read, Read, Read

Smart people tap into the collective brain power of others by reading books,
magazines, articles—anything that is helpful for their own development.
They are also able to filter out the information that fits for them and let
the rest go.

17. Value Learning

Smart people value the process of learning for learning’s sake. They do not
just learn for a specific end—to get a certificate, degree, title, etc.
They learn because it is intrinsically rewarding for them.

18. Teach Others

Smart people are the teachers of the world, who share their knowledge with
other people. They put themselves out there so the rest of us can benefit,
and in exchange, their own learning grows and develops because they are
actively talking about, researching, and understanding their subject.

19. Reinvent Themselves

Smart people do not like to stay the same, they love to grow and develop.
They often play with their image, brand, company name, and expand or change
it entirely. To stay ahead of the game, they often reinvent themselves time
and time again.

20. Are Students of Life

Smart people not only know about specific subjects and topics, but also
about what it means to be a human being at this time in our evolution. They
are insatiably curious and want to know more about becoming bigger and
brighter, as a result they naturally evolve.

As Lao Tzu said, “To gain knowledge, add things everyday. To gain wisdom,
remove things everyday.” This is so true, our brain is like a computer and
in order for it to function at a higher level, we must always be adding,
while simultaneously taking away information that no longer serves us. Think
about it, what do you want to remove from your database? And, what new
software program will you replace it with?

About The Author
Michelle L. Casto, M.Ed., is a Whole Life Coach, Speaker, and Author of the
Get Smart! LearningBook Series, which includes books and workbooks on
romantic relationships, career development, life purpose/life strategy, and
stress management. Her coaching practice is Brightlight Coaching. She
empowers people to live with passion, purpose, & possibility and inspires
people to freely shine their brightlight to the world. To learn more or to
subscribe to the Get Smart! Live Smart newsletter, Visit virtually:
http://www.getsmartseries.com or http://www.brightlightcoach.com.

coach@getsmartseries.com

I must not want anything bad enough that I cannot simply get up and say “No thanks” and turn and walk away.

If you are not prepared to do this in any negotiation situation then you will not do as good a job as you had hoped.

You see a good negotiator will tell straight away how badly you want something. You may give something away in the excitement of your voice, thus indicating to the other party you want it. Then when you start looking for discounts they are less likely to give into your demands.

Imagine you are on the market for a new car. You have done your research and found a car that meets your needs. You have a good indication it’s worth $10,000 so you offer $8,000. If you get laughed at WALK AWAY. There is no car anywhere you want bad enough that you can’t get a good deal on. Car dealers especially, do negotiating day in day out so make sure you read all tutorials before going into battle!

To recap;

Rule One - Be prepared to walk away. There is no car, house, job you want bad enough (this is the impression you need to give across), that you cannot walk away from.

If you were to go ino a negotiating situation and start changing your mind half way through you could end up getting a poor deal and end up being led by the other party.

Recap;

Make sure you know exactly what you want. This way you can stop getting side tracked by your opposition. Keep your goals focused and zone in on them not other outside non important frills.

If you are in negotiations with a manufacturer whom you know give great discounts for cash up front on all orders, use this to your advantage. Hold back with that knowledge and use it when appropriate.

If dealing with caterers find out if they are doing good or bad in business. If they are struggling they may be more inclined to crumble quicker to get your business.

Recap;

Knowledge is power, but it is only power if you do something with it.

Find out as much as you can about the other party before entering into negotiations.

Overview

Peoples emotions can be detected without needed to hear what they have to say. Their body language can give you an insight into how they are feeling.

Anger or frustration

Anger would normally occur when a task or achieving goals gets frustrating. When people are angry they may demonstrate some of these signs:

• Showing of the teeth
• Clenching of fists, particularly if arms are folded
• They may lean forward into your space as a form of invasion
• Their neck or face becomes red or flushed

Sadness

Sadness indicates the person may be in a depressive state.

• They may have a trembling lip
• Flat/monotone speech
• Tears
• Drooping of the body

Fear

When someone’s basic needs are threatened fear sets in. There are various levels of fear, from a mild anxiety to full blown terror. The range of body changes caused by fear are easy to spot

• Trembling lip
• Voice tremors
• Speech errors
• Avoiding eye contact
• Pale face
• A ‘cold sweat’
• Gasping
• Crossing of arms and legs

Embarrassment

Transgression of values or guilt causes embarrassment.

• Looking down and away from others
• Avoiding eye contact
• Face or neck becomes red or flushed
• False smile or changing topic by trying to cover the embarrassment

Surprise

This occurs when things happen that were not expected

• Widening of the eyes

• Mouth open wide

• Maybe a backward step

• Raised eye brows

When speaking with someone take note of the level their eye lids are at. The position the eye lids are at are a strong indication as to whether they are interested in what you have to say, are shocked or indeed are bored with your comments.

Take a look at the image below:

Imagine for a moment that the blue line is the person’s eye lids.

You are in a meeting and discussing a project/sales pitch with a potential client. You feel the meeting is going well and that they seem impressed by what you have to say.

Take a look at the level their eye lids are at. Are they above the Iris? (the coloured part of the eye). If so, this is a strong indication that they are surprised/shocked by a comment you have just made. Perhaps you told them your product can save them thousands a year implementing one thing or another. If they look surprised/shocked perhaps it would be worthwhile emphasising and backing up what you have just told them.

Hopefully you did a good job by giving them more information on your comments. If they are interested in what else you have to say, their eye lid level may well drop to the High Interest state as you can see in the diagram below.

This is a good indication they are listening intently to your comments and that you are interacting well. Of course you cannot take this body signal literally, you have to observe their other body languages too. It’s pretty hard to determine what level a person’s eye lids are at on a normal interaction, let alone in a business meeting. Are they sitting forward? Do they have open body language gestures symbolising willingness and openness?

All these things have to be taken into account when assessing one’s body language. So keep an eye out for it.

Of course if you notice the eye lids starting to close over, its time to try something drastic to get hem interested again, before they fall off to sleep!

The action stems back to when as a child we look for security in mother’s breast and as we grow older we substitute the breast for a thumb. Showing confirmation and reassurance will often result in the ending of the fingers in the mouth.